"A man with a watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure."

"If God lived on earth, people would break his windows."

"A newspaper consists of just the same number of words, whether there be any news in it or not."

"If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow ennobled and no-one dares criticize it."